Drink Like a Capricorn: Because We All Feel Like a Mythical Sea Goat Sometimes

Capricorn straddles the new year, flowing from December 22nd through January 19th. And who better to ferry us from one year to the next than Capricorns, who are basically the human embodiment of new year’s resolutions? Steady, ambitious, hard-working, and, well—resolute—they are the sign least likely to rage on New Year’s Eve and also most likely to follow through on each and every goal they set for themselves on January 1st. (And they’ve probably been making this year’s list since they mastered last year’s resolutions by February.)

Did I mention that Capricorns are also represented by a mythical sea goat? Herein lies the beautiful duality of Capricorn life. They are the most driven, the most analytical, the most adult, really, of all of the signs, and yet amidst a Zodiac cast of otherwise typical animals, human characters, and one outlying set of scales, Capricorn is represented by the most fanciful glyph: the head of a goat with the body of a fish. (And they’re an earth sign, so what gives?) Perhaps this is why they manage to maintain a sense of humor, however blunt. What kind of weird representation is that?

While temperance can be a defining Capricorn characteristic, this certainly doesn’t mean Capricorns don’t imbibe. As they always strive for quality themselves, they respect a job well done by others, and gravitate to that which really demonstrates craft and care. So, cheers to the sea goats, with 6 Capricorn-inspired beverages that can help you follow through on your New Year’s resolutions this year.

Beer: Pilsner

Capricorns aren’t showy creatures—unusual spirit animal notwithstanding—and don’t need to draw attention to themselves with multiple modifiers like many beers these days. I briefly considered a black ale called Capricorn for filling in this blank, but even that seemed unnecessarily complicated for straightforward Caps. Pilsner, then. Full stop. It’s damn near the dictionary definition of beer, and doesn’t require the excessive craft beer manipulation treatment to be top notch. Pilsners also tend to stay pretty moderate on the ABV scale, which is of importance to Capricorns. Extra credit, (which true Capricorns always go for,) if you can source one from a goat-named brewery, of which there are many. One to try: Poudre Pils by Gilded Goat Brewing Company.

Wine: French Wine

Boy, as a self-indulgent, luxury-seeking Taurus it pains me to give this one away to fellow earth sign Capricorn. But I’ll do it anyway, because the math fits: earth plus structure plus discipline equals French winemaking equals Capricorn. It also doesn’t hurt that practical and driven Capricorns are probably the most likely candidates in the Zodiac to be able to afford a tête du cuvée Champagne or Grand Cru Bordeaux. One such Bordeaux to try: 2018 Lassègue Saint-Émilion Grand Cru.

Spirit: Scotch Whiskey

The constellation Capricorn is also thought to be the same inspirational source for the Sumerian God of wisdom and waters, Enki. What does this have to do with Scotch? Well, everything. Wisdom is almost a prerequisite for drinking Scotch. Scotch is a thinking person’s drink. It begs you to slow down and consider the moment. It is a grown-ass beverage, and Capricorns are the grown-ass adults of the Zodiac. As for waters, Scotch happens because of its damp environment. Several prominent Scotch regions—and those that produce the smokiest selections—are islands or peninsulas, which then also lend a slightly salty, coastal edge to the proceedings. The smoky quality itself comes from the burning of peat, or turf: that which is created because of vegetative decay in the humid air. It’s sea and earth combined, ergo, sea goat. One to try from a brand that brings a disciplined, Capricornian approach to the making of exceptional Scotch: Compass Box No Name 3.

Non-Alcoholic: OPTIMIST Botanicals

I realize that Sober January is timed to follow the over-indulgent holiday season, but I also think that it’s no coincidence that it falls largely within Capricorn. It’s a moment for Capricorns to invite everyone else to their responsible, temperate level, and lately there’s a slew of brands dabbling in the non-alcoholic, or Capricorn-curious space. It bears mentioning here that Capricorns have a reputation for being a bit on the pessimistic side, and it’s no wonder since nobody else can live up to their high standards. But on the other hand, for those analytical Capricorns who see their pessimistic nature as an opportunity for self-improvement, maybe they’d appreciate a dose of optimism through ingestion? OPTIMIST Botanicals are designed not as mock-anything, but merely as an expression of what plants can do in “spirit” form.

Ready-To-Drink: French Wine in a Can

New year, new you, new category for these Zodiac-themed roundups, because the growing market for ready-to-drink, alcoholic beverages is undeniable. As the de-facto parents of the Zodiac, Capricorns will always be true to their practical nature, and white wine is a forever sensible choice that is appropriate for any occasion or meal. As we’ve already established that French wine belongs to the sea goats, how about an accessible, yet classical, coastal French wine that happens to pair especially well with goat cheese? License IV Blanc https://www.licenceivwine.com/ is canned muscadet, currently the only muscadet to be sold in a canned format. Its founder is French Sommelier Gregory Castells, whose employment credits include legendary restaurants such as Cannes’ La Palme D’Or, Napa’s The French Laundry, and London’s Petrus, so I’m going to venture a guess he knows what he’s doing here.

Cocktail: Sea Breeze

If there’s a sign that especially needs a drink, it’s Capricorn. When they’re done taking on the world for the day and ready to take the edge off, something quick, unfussy, and not too boozy fits the bill. A shaken Sea Breeze, which only consists of vodka, cranberry juice, and grapefruit juice, achieves a frothy “sea foam” quality, for maximum sea goat appeal.

For additional Zodiac content, check out Drink Like a Scorpio and Drink Like a Sagittarius, or head over to Cheese Professor for 5 Gifts for Your Cheese-Loving Capricorn Friends.